One of my oddest dreams when I was young was to become an army commander to take charge of an army and issue orders and tough instructions. Sort of like boss everyone around and smite those who don’t seem to obey my orders. This would be awesome powers I thought to myself.
What a pipe dream this was, to entertain but, I was young and entitled to dream. At school I was bullied by this huge guy who had big muscles, big head, big hands I mean this fellow was built like a huge monster- Hulk.
Every time I saw him I would freeze like a twig. The world became very bleak, but my biggest fantasy was to possess the power to shrink or evaporate at will when I snapped my fingers. This chap would terrorize the hell out of all of us who were small and tiny. I was unable to run or shout when he took my lunch or sweets during the lunch break, as if this guy had super powers to control my existence.
This was one of my worst nightmares growing up. Although he bullied 2/3rds of the school kids at school, he was like Goliath but very ugly and mean. Going to school when you are bullied is not a very exciting experience to any sweet fellow like me.
There were those who tried to stand up to him- but never had a chance to conquer him he destroyed them just like that. Except for Joshua i.e. Boikana my classroom mate not very close but friendly guy. Joshua was never intimidated by “Sydney” the bull-dog as we called him. I admired Joshuas’ courage and strength of character. He was the guy who was not afraid of anything. He later on became my close friend and I wanted to learn the secret of being brave and courageous.
Schools as concentration camps to promote fear!
School is not a very good place to grow when you are young and fallible. It actually looks like a glorified concentration camp that had invisible silent emotional walls waiting to torture and cramped you in. Young as I was I did not have a big brother to protect me against any bullies at school or on the streets from home to school and back. I was always alone almost ready to fight my own battles in order to survive.
Life is the same for most people if not for a majority of us. We get bullied by our financial circumstances (poverty is a bully), we get bullied by society’s rules, dogmas and mental negative conditioning and no one to look up to for our solutions. We get bullied by Eskom rising electricity tariffs, Petrol suppliers raising the petrol price, traffic cops issuing unlawful traffic fines and sometimes police officers who are suppose to protect us.
I sometime wonder why do we have to put up with this entire S*#%$&t. At which point does a normal person have to keep taking all the crab from anyone and possibly everyone, before they reach breaking point to commit murder, crime or suicide?. Often this crosses my mind; even when it comes to paying for goods and services at shopping malls and the till counters.
If you visit “Hello Peter” website they are inundated with poor customer service complaints that translates to companies bullying their clients. Although this might not be true to your thinking – to me it is my truths. If corporations treat customers with discontent it means they have the power to do whatever they like, therefore they’re bullies. Otherwise no one would complaint if this was not the case, is it?
Customer service at some stores and shopping malls is so bad that we have given up complaining or fighting for our rights. Everywhere you go there is someone bullying another to gain the upper hand and control or abuse good fellows?
Victims of bullying need help and support!
Bullies take advantage of our weaknesses they thrive on our fears, vulnerability and kindness. Physically bullies can appear strong and fearsome – but inside they are scared and suffer mental emotional hormone imbalance. When you become a victim you begin to question their behaviour and tactical terrifying tricks. Often it is our imagination and the way we think and deal with circumstances challenging our surroundings.
At schools and colleges in South Africa this incidences go unnoticed or unpunished. It is treated as a “no big deal” issue. For our youth in South Africa, I believe suicide is gradually increasing because schools are ignoring this bulling phenomenon.
Our young are traumatized to a point of wanting to kill themselves. Few parents even know this might be happening to their kids. When I was young I was bullied and hated school because no one knew the emotional trauma I was going through. Political parties are no different from school bullies, there is one such party that is running havoc to a point of delirium and uncontrolled state of mental intoxication. I don’t have to name names they know who they are. Where do political parties report someone who is bullying them in the classroom of our tainted democracy! “Parliament?”.
How many of us today possess the courage to stand up to bullies? How many of us are intimidated by bullies like Sydney and are frozen to even say anything that hurts them? How long are we going to keep quiet and be silent because we are so afraid society will judge and reprimand us for standing tall like Joshua i.e. Boikana. At some point in our lifetime one has to stand up and fight for what they believe in. Silence is not always golden – in my view silence can sometimes be poisonous to the health of a society and the victims of bulling.
The taxi drivers are also faced with endless wars and bullying tactics fighting over lucrative taxi routes. Where do they go if someone is bulling them? I suppose Thuli Madontsela is the place for them to go to is it not? It seems to me that wherever you look bulling does not end up in schools only- it is everywhere. I tried to find answers to this silly question. If God is so far away and not aware of all of this- Who takes care of business during that day to punish those who bully us? Spouses and friends are the next of kin to hear you cry, but to what extend can they escalate your problem to bring it to the attention of the Almighty?
Let Us Look Beyond Our Own Limitations-The Story of "Bruce Almighty"
It took just 1 day of a bad day for “Bruce Almighty” i.e. Jim Carrey to get God attending to his problem. He had reached a point of no return and snapped to get a personal call from God to resolve his issues. This film might sound like a fairy-tale "pipe" dream. If my wish was granted to become an army commander, and possessed all the power to take everyone for a ride like a politician does to his constituency, I would use it to avenge bullies and give them a taste of their own medicine.
Yet, The story of Lufuno Mavhunga School Bullying and her death is more than what politics and a nations pain could ever take in our democracy to act so indecisively on bullying in Schools after 1994. Bullying should be considered a criminal offence in our courts of law and the judiciary system! my opinion, by the way. This would be our starting point as a nation to reflect on this bad negative learnt behavour. Parents of bullies should also be legally responsible for actions and bad behaviour of their children, this should also be extended to the schools' liability for ignoring and not taking action to such incidences.
The church; including parents and teachers should play a more creative role beyond the pulpit or classroom blackboards. We should turn this dilemma into a critical proactive problem solving solution to our education system. My impressions is that our country's self-esteem and its leadership credibility is the reflection of our children behaviour and misconduct. This includes how we raise our children as families who have lost the cultural identities and values to discipline and monitor what our children are doing behind closed doors of social media frenzy, isn't it?. ARE WE NOT ALL PARTLY DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF Lufuno Mavhunga's as a society ANSWERABLE TO GOD for our poor parenting skills?.
Whereas, also I am not a politician and would not use my borrowed power to hurt anyone for any reason. Yet, perhaps! I would have a chance to use my 7 day borrowed powers to make things right. Instead of bullying everyone to their displeasure to curse me every time they see me. Bullying is not only a physical thing; rather the whole concept is psychological and has deep emotional scars on the life and after-effects of a victim outlook on life, moral, self-esteem and school performance.
The question that has been bothering me for so long until now is; what are we - as a society doing about it? If you are a victim for so long, and have not snapped like “Bruce Almighty” what are you waiting for? I do not have the answers for anyone, but what I now know and have discovered is very surprising and shocking revelation -:
The question I asked was this, and my theory has always been “If God owns us He therefore controls the universe and knows all our intentions”, why does it take Him so long to resolve simple wishes and problems?
“If God is so far away and maybe unaware of all of this- Who takes care of business during that day to punish those who bully us?” Close to what I was not expecting to hear as the answer to my question was this reply: “The Universe Doesn’t Give a Flying Fuck About You” by Johnny Truant. Johnny is an author his experience and knowledge blew my mind it is so profound.
You have to read this to get the whole picture. Until now all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were all over the place. Now everything is making a lot of sense. Read it and when you are done please let me know your thoughts and your findings. I do care about how you feel today. As for Lufuno Mavhunga's sad tale of our "S.A. Schools Poor Monitoring and Caring Systems" for our children, its lacking with necessary Will-Power of the schools' SGB's to effectively address and deal with it to root out its rot and scale of disappointing stench. We all need to do something about it as a country including protection of our grandchildren before it gets out of control and becomes a pandemic like COVD-19.
Otherwise, I would not be writing this message to you as a reader to raise my concerns. Let’s do something transformative about this scourge to improve the lives of those children who will tomorrow become potential victims of this saga. South Africa needs a cure for leadership maladjustment and poor accountability by those in power capable of resolving and eliminating bullying once and for all as a sticking sore thump to our society's peaceful existence.
Otherwise, history will judge us on our complicity and lack of perception and moral obligation and commitment in taking drastic actions to remedy our plight. "If It Is To Be - It Is Up To Us". May Ms. Lufuno Mavhunga's Soul Rest In Peace. I felt her pain more than 35 years ago during my school days. I wish God forgives her for what fate has brought upon her beautiful Soul. Rest Well Daughter of Africa's lost causes; your pain was my pain; and I deeply regret what has happened to you. Just because no one bothered to take time and responsibility to check and make sure how you felt, to earnestly address your pain. May Peace Be With You!
Mr. I. Khonjelwayo aka
Bra Ike:
More Support & Help Available: Here
Author & Life Skills Coach
Author & Life Skills Coach
Open Invitation To All Parents, Teachers, Churches & Schools:
To Join Me Fight The Scourge Of Bullying In S.A. Schools To Initiate An Awareness Program -
"S.A. Lufuno Mavhunga Bulling Is Criminal Schools Rehab Program"
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